Posted by Broadway Doctor Friday, March 25, 2011
Well it’s about time! The Geek Chorus is finally fired. Thank God there can be some hope for American musical theatre after all. And that hope is this: that people will always want to improve their shows regardless of how unnecessary it is. Julie Taymor, Broadway’s worst director, can only hear and speak dollar signs. When Spider-Man was starting to sell at $1.4 million a week, there was no reason for her to compromise her vision. However, the reason producers decided to do exactly that is for integrity. They knew the show they're selling is not worth the price, and that it is also destroying everything holy in art and theatre. I was among the first to say the Geek Chorus should be cut entirely, after attending the first preview. Congrats to Michael Cohl for firing the Geek Chorus, that cancer has now been cured.
I’d like to take this moment to tribute the Geek Chorus before they depart. Thank you, Mat Devine, Gideon Glick, Alice Lee and Jonathan Schwartz for being Julie Taymor’s undoing. Because of you, Spider-Man may rank among the worst musicals of all time. Because of you, people saw how terrible Julie Taymor is at writing and directing. And you really do deserve all the credit because I’m told you actually wrote the majority of the dialogue for your scenes yourselves. Julie was too busy and Glen Berger did nothing anyways, and they gave you the authority to write you own scenes. Those scenes eventually became so terrible, that they brought a 65 million dollar musical and Broadway's most powerful director to its knees. You are the worst piece of the worst show in history. That's something you can be proud of.
What’s next in the coming weeks for Spider-Man? Well, expect to find a short theme park type show, with a few songs, and aerial sequences that work. The show will no longer have the depth that Julie so badly wished it to have. Arachne will be reduced to a more 2 dimensional super-villain, than a goddess and narrator to the story. “But what about fixing the score?” Some of you keep asking me what is going to be done about that. Well Bono might add a few songs, but what can one expect in a few months time when they had years to write the current songs and they’re awful? Whenever you think about how upset you are with how terrible the Spider-Man score is, remember this, “It is entirely irrelevant.” Nobody is going to see Spider-Man to be moved by powerful music. Anyone who pays full price to see Spider-Man is a cheap spectacle slut.